About Inner Kid

Sometime ago, we watched a TV program in which a lady (I do not recall who she was) talked about fulfillment in life, and how to achieve it during the retirement years. According to her, one just needs to re-find the inner child in themselves. To do that, we simply need to come back to the activities we enjoyed best in our childhood.

I thought, “What was it that I liked doing best when I was little?”

The answer came, “Nothing in particular.”

A few seconds later, I reminded myself, “Cemetery!”

When I was a kid, at least once a month, I went with my mom to the local cemetery where my grandma had been buried. At that time, there was no paid grave care service – people cared for their relatives’ graves on their own. What we usually did at the cemetery -  removed weeds/ leaves from the tombstone and its area,  put flowers and put/lit lanterns on the grave. The candle/lantern light is a sign somebody remembers about the person whose body is buried there.

Once a year, before All Saints’ Day, we also cleaned the tombstone.

When I was little, mom did most of the job, I carried bags with leaves to the trash can, brought water from the nearby tap, and lit lanterns.

You could easily tell which graves were not attended to. They looked forsaken. I called them “abandoned gravies”. I did not want them to look sad and forgotten so I always put and lit a lantern on each such a grave in the section where my grandma’s tombstone was. I also enjoyed relighting lanterns (blown out by the wind) on other nearby graves.

During our visit at the cemetery, mom was usually busy tidying up grandma’s burial place, I was running around lighting candles. Once, I was so much into it that, accidently, my new jacket caught fire. Luckily, mom was close and saved me and the jacket. Later, she fixed it in such a way that no one could tell in which spot the burned hole was.

When I grew up, we still visited the cemetery quite regularly, but not as often as it was in my childhood. I did not do my used to be “lighting the lanterns” routine, though. Well, at least not that much.

These days, I still like visiting cemeteries especially places where old graves are. Lighting candles, however, where we live now, is not aloud here due to fire safety rules. I do something else instead, though.

These days, most people still look after their family graves personally, not relying on paid care.

Reflecting on the above mentioned TV program, I realized that nowadays, one of the things I enjoy most is what I call “helping the ones who passed away to not be forgotten”. I mean not only researching and writing about our late close and far relatives but also doing the same regarding other persons, who lived before our time, not related to us at all. Somehow, I can feel they all want to be remembered.

In a way, I made a circle and came back, in a bit different way, though,  to what I used to do in my early years.

The cemetery we visited in my childhood is a real necropolis - so large, the size of  a small town.

You do not need to wait until the retirement to re-discover the kid in you. Find the time in your life to do what you enjoyed doing in your childhood. Most likely, the activity will be an adjusted version of the one from the past due to the changed life circumstances, and also to the current you, your present abilities and possibilities. Play and have fun.

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Photos taken on All Saints' Day - November - many years ago